Three Wishes

From TeeVeePedia, the Internet TV Encyclopedia.

Three Wishes is an NBC Reality television series launched as an effort to remind America that Amy Grant used to be considered virtuous once upon a time.

Three Wishes travels the country, makes people beg for free things on television, then rewards the mendicants with gifts and services beyond their wildest dreams. Although this would seem to limit the show's latitude considerably -- most of the supplicants sobbing for the Three Wishes camera are nothing if not unimaginative -- the smug ersatz sympathy oozing from Carter Oosterhaus and the rest of the TV crew are endlessly entertaining and irritating.

Each episode ends with Amy Grant giving us a concert, reminding us that not only did she used to be considered one of pop culture's saints, she also used to inflict bland pop ballads on hapless radio listeners in the early 1990s.

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Wishes Fulfilled

While Three Wishes has only been on the air since September 2005, it nevertheless has granted dozens of wishes since its debut. Here's a partial list:

  • "Please build me a new home to replace the one I burnt down while manufacturing meth."
  • "Reunite me with the family that disowned me after they found out I voted for McGovern back in '72."
  • "Man, I could really go for some Dunken Donuts right about now."
  • "Please build that guy another home after I burnt down the one you built him in a jealous rage."
  • "Say, would it be possible for me to get a third kidney?"
  • "I'd like to hear banal songs sung by a purveyor of schmaltzy '90s pop."
  • "I would love to be Mrs. Vince Gill again, AMY."
  • "My grandpa needs an iron lung... can you get me Stones tickets?"
  • "One day, I want to go to one of them fancy book-learnin' colleges and chuck rocks at the heads of one of them pink-o professors."
  • "Can you take revenge on the river what took my daddy away?"
  • "Say, Amy, I could use a little 'wish fulfillment' of my own if you know what I mean."
  • "Please smother me with this pillow so I can die with a little dignity."
  • "Get that goddman camera out of my face."
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