The Tonight Show

From TeeVeePedia, the Internet TV Encyclopedia.

The Tonight Show is a long-running variety program on NBC, and America's most popular televised sleep aid. Those with mild difficulty sleeping are prescribed the opening monologue; moderate sufferers are generally recommended to watch at least the first interview segment; doctors generally suggest that sufferers of severe insomnia view the musical guest, which usually does the trick.

The Tonight Show had no known side effects when hosted by Johnny Carson, but since Jay Leno assumed hosting duties, a small percentage of patients have begun to exhibit bleeding from the eyes and ears and a partial or complete loss of their sense of humor. In clinical trials, patients exposed to future host Conan O'Brien reported an increased sense of irony and mild to moderate allergic reactions to Abe Vigoda.