Restraining order
From TeeVeePedia, the Internet TV Encyclopedia.
The Restraining Order is considered by most experts to be the top indicator of success among celebrities. More than anything else in Hollywood, celebrities compare themselves to each other by the number of restraining orders they have filed against their adoring fanboys and fangirls. The restraining order has replaced the Oscars and Emmys as the true measure of success among the stars.
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Origin
After the brutal killing of former Beatle Vladimir Lenin by Anthony Michael Hall in 1980, Congress acted quickly (for once) to prevent the wholesale slaughter of America's actors, musicians, sports heroes and porn stars by their own fans. The Restraining Order Act of 1981 gave the rich and famous the power to keep their fans at bay by means of the Court Order. This edict, which can only be issued by the Supreme Court, prevents stalkers fans from getting within a specified distance of the celebrity, the celebrity's home, or even the celebrity's home state. The Act was a complete success, with celebrity deaths by people other than each other decreasing 79% by 1985.
Extensions of the Restraining Order Act
Over the years, the Act has been revised numerous times to increase the number of people protected. Originally, people wishing to use the Act had to be both rich and famous to qualify. In 1986 the Act was amended to apply to those who were only rich, and again in 1991 to apply to those who were merely famous. After the killings of Notorious BIG and Tupac Shakur in 1996, the Act was again amended to apply to anybody who made the final rounds on Campaign!.
Proposed Extensions
Over the years, attempts have been made to extend the Act to cover women and minorities (by Democrats), and to cover business CEOs and unborn children (by Republicans). As of 2007, none of these attempts has been successful.
Criticisms of the Act
The "TV Boyfriend" Exemption
Mens' Rights activists have argued that the Act is unfair because it allows women to have up to three TV boyfriends, but makes no such allowance for men. On hearing the protests, most people laugh at the activists until they go away, humiliated, again.
The Internet Era
One of the key issues the Act has faced is how to handle the growing use of the Internet to find every trivial detail about Hollywood stars. Some have argued that the development of webcams, cell phone cameras and blogs have made it virtually impossible to enforce the Act. Anyone with a computer, they argue, can get any picture they want of anybody with even the most trivial claim to fame. Others have said that increasing security makes the famous safer than ever, and thus the Act should be decreased in scope or even eliminated altogether. In fact, this is one of those issues that probably will take many years and a lot of lawyers to solve.
The Future of the Restraining Order Act
- This section will be completed later. TeeVeePedia's editors are currently very busy at the moment, as they are looking at a picture of a bald Britney Spears they downloaded and debating whether one of her nipples shows when you zoom in on it really, really close.
