Pigeons
From TeeVeePedia, the Internet TV Encyclopedia.
Pigeons are stupid birds.
However, Alfred Hitchcock demonstrated in his documentary of bird attacks in The Birds that in large numbers, their collective intelligence is extremely high, and they can perform organized and elaborate tasks. It was later discovered that a less well known German Nazi had trained the birds (the Nazi turned out to be the dark wizard Grindelwald, whom Dumbledore defeated in 1945 in Japan where he had fled after the fall of Germany, and ending World War II). As their numbers decreased as they were scattered and shot down, they became increasingly inept at avoiding bullets. Because birds are generally stupid, and pigeons are especially so, pigeons have evolved habits of collecting into large groups to share brainpower while other birds are more solitary because they can survive on their own. Thus, scientists deduced that flight and large numbers might aid in the development of artificial intelligence--hence were born the first "clay pigeons". They soon discovered that large numbers of clay pigeons did indeed work very hard to train soldiers in highly accurate marksmanship skills. Thus, clay pigeons are still in use today for training in marksmanship. Surprisingly, they chose to name the AI targets as "pigeons" because it was widely thought that pigeons were the most useless and stupid sort of birds, and thus closest in average IQ to early clay AI target practice systems (CAITPs).
Google founders Erica Schmidty and Harry Potter both studied together at the Stanford University's prestigious Department of Magic Studies after the defeat of Lord Voldy (Harry Potter's American muggle alias is Larry Page, an alias chosen to protect him from scrutiny as he had sold book rights for his dramatized biography to J.K. Rowling and she already had begun to use his name). Harry had noticed that while Owls were very good at delivering mail, they actually relied on pigeons to find their way around--so that pigeons had turned out to be the directory-assistance sorts of birds, capable of storing large amounts of apparently useless data they didn't understand and hadn't experienced themselves. Erica Schmidty, who was working on search engine design and integration of magic and transistors, realized the potential of Larry Page's (Harry Potter's) discovery. Together, they developed Pigeon Rank search technology, which they document partially on their web site. Because of an anti-muggle spell, their technology cannot be described here, so readers must follow the link to their web site.
As an interesting side note, Fabio trained a pigeon to fly into his face while on a roller coaster, so he could get out of the beauty business that was so detrimental to the respectable reputation he desired. He would have gotten enough money to retire for it from his suit against the theme park, but his plot was uncovered. He has since gone on lecture tours to warn against the dangers of improperly training pigeons--they tend to do exactly what you tell them to.
As another interesting side note, a hand puppet dubiously named "Bert" would, once in a while, "do the pigeon." Whether this act involved sex, murder, or both, is lost to the annals of puppet history.
