Gretzky

From TeeVeePedia, the Internet TV Encyclopedia.

Gretzky is known throughout Canada as "The man, the myth, the Canadian state".

Born during the reign of King Friday XIII, Gretzky showed an almost mythical ability at hockey at an early age. His abilities soon caught the eye of the King, who enslaved Gretzky and forced him to move to Edmonton. There, Gretzky was forced to work all summer in the oppressive heat of the oil mines where temperatures would rise to nearly 100 degrees Celsius (around 32 American degrees). During the winters he was forced to play on the local hockey team in a vain attempt to defeat better teams.

Embittered by his struggles Gretzky became a freedom fighter who tried to oppose King Friday XIII. However, after an incident in New Brunswick, Gretzky was forced to flee to Los Angeles. There, he continued the fight by calling on the President to invade Canada and end King Friday XIII's reign. Which, is kind of silly when you think of it because the POTUS has no real powers beyond television. However, Gretzky wouldn't have known that because he's Canadian, after all.

After the overthrow of the monarchy in 2003, Gretzky returned to Edmonton where he was hailed as a hero despite not actually having done anything effective to get rid of the former King. The people crowned Gretzky absolute ruler and renamed the state "Gretzky", mainly because nobody remembered what the original name of the state was. The statue homoring Gretzky at the gates of Edmonton is believed to be the 3rd largest on Earth.