Gary Coleman

From TeeVeePedia, the Internet TV Encyclopedia.

Gary Coleman taught Eve shame.

Gary Coleman devised Linear A.

Gary Coleman defended the pass at Thermopylae, and escaped the Persians by asking, "What you talkin' 'bout, Xerxes?", causing the soldiers to laugh too hard to keep Coleman under guard.

Gary Coleman was the wheel man for the assassination of Julius Caesar.

Gary Coleman was the fourth Wise Man.

Gary Coleman slew Grendel's mother bare-handed and ate her liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti. Which he invented.

Gary Coleman lived as a warrior monk on the Aran Islands.

Gary Coleman invented the printing press so he could publish broadsheets against the Scourge of Europe, The Gooch.

Gary Coleman didn't land on Plymouth Rock. And it didn't land on him; he deflected it and let it squash some Pilgrim dude.

Gary Coleman let Paul Revere borrow his Zippo.

Gary Coleman and Frederick Douglas were never seen in the same room at the same time. Coincidence?

Gary Coleman once slept in the Lincoln bedroom - in Lincoln's stovepipe hat.

Gary Coleman went dormant for 100 years - because he could.

Gary Coleman keeps a lock of Dana Plato's hair in a requilary on his nightstand.