David Copperfield
From TeeVeePedia, the Internet TV Encyclopedia.
David Copperfield (born Sept 1956) is actually the living embodiment of the spirit of master sorceror and 16th level necromancer Doug Henning. Much like Emperor Palpatine of Star Wars fame, Doug Henning's innate magic was too powerful to support one host for long, so when the mulleted, mustached, gangly former host began dying, the spirit moved into the tall, effeminate, and latently homosexual man that we now know as David Copperfield. Copperfield's greatest illusions include walking through the Great Wall, and making the Statue of Liberty disappear, but to date, David Copperfield's greatest trick is making Claudia Schiffer's taste in men disappear.
Biography
David Copperfield was born Rageesh Patel in Bangladesh during the spaghetti
drought of 1956. His father Lo Pan (of Big Trouble in Little China fame),
fearful of the mass starvation and and impending invasion by the Huns,
moved the family to America where they settled in Metuchen, New Jersey. It
was here in New Jersey that Copperfield, now 14, learned the first rule of
successful illusionry: wear mascara and look sad and wistful when you're performing.
Copperfield perfected "the Goth look" by the time he was 19. His pseudo
mystique, melancholy aura, and homoerotic manneurisms led him to Hawaii
where he worked at local hotels pulling rabbits from the rectum of John Davidson, co-host of the hit 80's show That's Incredible. It was here where young Rageesh took the name
David Copperfield, the name of an obscure 8th century Frankish blues
guitar player.
It was around 1998 when Copperfield left the Illusionists' Coucil when he was wooed by master sorceror and 16th level dark necromancer Doug Henning to learn the dark side of magic. Copperfield's father Lo Pan aggressively opposed his son's new path, and they battled each other ferociously; blasting each other with deadly card tricks and powerful illusions which left both Lo Pan and Kurt Russell dead, and David Copperfield's head severed from his body. Lord Doug Henning came to Copperfield's aid however, and placed David's head into a shallow pan of chicken blood until a new cybernetic exoskeleton could be constructed for him. Once the exoskeleton was complete and affixed to Copperfield's head, Doug Henning's magical spirit exited its former host and entered David Copperfield.
To date, because of Copperfield's latently homosexual manneurisms and Henning's powers, David Copperfield remains one of the highest paid celebrities of the modern age. Together with Don Rickles, Copperfield has co-founded the International Museum and Library of the Conjuring Arts and Old Playboys From the 1960s in an effort to protect ancient magical devices and antiquated smut-mags that feature entirely too much pubic hair.
Today, David Copperfield is semi-retired and lives in a sex commune in Nepal with a llama named Sergio.
